Fruit Brute – Lament of The Shunned

Back when I was just a wee lad, General Mills (the other GM) introduced a new character into the Cereal bowl… his name was Fruit Brute – and according to the marketing magnates he would take his place among GM’s Mount Rushmore – which til that time included “Boo Berry, Count Chocula, and Frankenberry.” The final installment of creepiness serial spookiness would he be. Visions of Fruit Brute dollars danced through their heads – catapulting Fruit Brute to the echelons of the elder statesmen of flavored horror was a simple matter: box it, distribute it, hype it and muscle it into the kitchen cabinet. Eventually, the public would either open its arms in deep anticipation or learn that resistance is futile. Fruit Brute would be a hit come hell or high-water! Fruit Brute was hip in attire, he was with it – he knew all the right people… and he was energy conscious! I remeber a light switch cover that read “Fruit Brute says, “If you don’t need it, turn it off!”

But, after a time – this was during Carter’s energy crisis – it became clear that America didn’t need – nor did it want – a furry breakfast cereal character with a cause… Fruit Brute was DOA – and to the credit of GM, they analyzed the numbers – likely fired the marketing team who had spent their capital in such a frivolous way – and Fruit Brute was buried in an unmarked grave somewhere in Indiana (or was it Iowa?).

DOA

DOA

About Enoch_Root
Person with kids,a beautiful wife, a job. Catholic of the Latin Rite.

13 Comments on Fruit Brute – Lament of The Shunned

  1. Dan Collins // 09/02/2009 at 6:30 am // Reply

    Et tu, Fruitay?

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  2. guinsPen // 09/02/2009 at 9:54 am // Reply

    Indiana was the Spilottro brothers, so I say Iowa.

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  3. Quisp.

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  4. Quake.

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  5. BOOBIES!!!!!

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  6. Enoch_Root // 09/02/2009 at 9:00 pm // Reply

    I see your BOOBIES and raise you TATAS

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