WHAT??? What are you looking at? Seriously people. This is just my chest and me at home. Why are you staring? Leave me alone, I’m just having fun. Stalkers. All of ya.
Certain sublimely ridiculous events of this past week have tied themselves together rather miraculously. It’s been pretty exciting, not gonna lie. After all, on Tuesday I did promise to talk about this, so here we go.
Sunday: Boob drama. Â Someone I follow on Twitter has a lovely avatar (that is very tasteful) featuring a side view of her chest. This happens to be something several people are doing at the moment in support of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Fine, right? No. A brouhaha begins when another female Twitterer starts mocking these faceless girls showing only their breastesses. When all was explained to the mocker, she continued the attacks.
Tuesday: Celebrity boob drama! also, Real or Fake? January Jones is the gorgeous cover feature of GQ this month, and the internetz erupt with speculation! Are they real? Is it just normal magazine photoshopping magic? This is important, they did a study. Oh yeah, there’s also this study.
Wednesday: Boobie meltdown! Twitter threats! Big Bazongas! Hump day was a special day for Meghan McCain. Via Twitter, she a) puts down Allahpundit of Hot Air (for like the zillionth time–I could talk about the history here, but that’s material for a whoooole other post), Â b) decides to have a “spontaneous night in”, c) posts a demure picture of said activity, d) is super hurt by strangers’ comments about the picture, and e) threatens to cancel her Le Twit account because of the “harassment”. I won’t go into too much philosophical detail since this has been covered by everyone from MTV to the Christian Science Monitor (Perez Hilton even filed it under “pHOtos”), but I stand by the belief that she got exactly what she wanted. Her publicists and agents are ecstatic, I can assure you. My thoughts are pretty much encapsulated under the photo above, also RS McCain covered it fantastically.
Brief story time: I went to college (a small music conservatory where everyone knew each other pretty intimately) with a girl who kind of reminds me of Meghan. She was childish, bratty, extremely beautiful, and had GIGANTIC breasts on a very small frame. This girl had a small group of protective friends who would comfort her every time she would burst into tears from someone “staring at her chest”. Even though she often wore beyond tight, near see-through tops, we weren’t supposed to look. No one really said anything to her face, it was simply the act of noticing that would send her into a crying fit. Don’t feel too bad for her though. Midway through undergrad she became a stripper and made massive amounts of money. Between the money and the crying, she was pretty much a genius. Crying = attention! Stripping = attention! (and dollars). It was a well-known fact, not something she hid at school or anything. When classmates would “accidentally” show up at the strip club to see her perform, she’d have a fit and make them swear to secrecy they wouldn’t tell anyone else what she did outside of school! The memories of her pouty, victim-y face SO reminds me of Ms. McCain.
No Meghan. Cleavage doesn’t make you a slut. Sluttiness makes you a slut! Someday, when you and I hang out here in NYC, I can tell you REAL slutty stories. Because I have a lot of them. I think they’d even shock a big-boobied, tattooed, leather-wearing, name-calling Republican young woman like yourself.
WAIIIIT! I can’t forget Balloon Boy! He was the Thursday event. Falls into the category of Real or Fake? too. Get it? Fake boobs = balloons? har har har.
And Friday brings us yet another lively tome from our heroine. I am crazy-ultra impressed by her use of the term Sturm und Drang, I must say. It’s something we talk about almost every day where I work, and there she goes and uses it to talk about bewbie-dramatics.
Breasts and Balloons shall Unite teh World! As well as awesomely awesome Twitter-feuds that entertain us (though predictably wimp and fizzle out like— well, like something impotent).
Until next week, here’s a parting present: a tribute to “appreciative” men everywhere.
Nice balloons, I mean, bazooms, you’ve got there.
I knew the estrogen injection to POWIP was a good idea, Dan.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dan Collins, Mr. Stickee. Mr. Stickee said: RT @vermontaigne H8t3R-Gate/Boobiepalooza/Real or Fake?: WHAT??? What are you looking at? Seriously people. This is.. http://bit.ly/R0wkr [...]
Nothing more fake than Robert Stacy McCain’s balls. That pasty white shameless bigot gets faced by Charles Johnson and the weeping pussy can’t quit queefing.
Mmm, nice tribute to boob goggles though.
I am pretty sure that boobs are the best. I mean, I like them very much. Whether referred to as “the Girls,” “the Team,” or “Fun Bags,” I would like to offer my services as a boob certification specialist to any and all possessing said units. It is the least I can do to promote proper boobosity worldwide. Boobs are good.
I’m so conflicted. I’m pro boobage, but anti Meghan McCain. I’m also also a fan of watching masochistic Betas being abused, but, again, I am anti Meghan McCain. I need something to distract me from this internal conflict .. ooOOO BOOBS!
Me too, I mean on one hand (well hands) we’ve got boobies, which are simply awesome. But then you realize to whom they’re attached and my head starts to hurt. She makes me feel like I need to lie down on something soft and squishy. Ahh…the conundrums life brings us.
I’ve nothing against pro-mammary Marxism or its flip side.
The only thing Thor can talk about in a boob thread is a guy’s balls. That pretty much says all you need to know about him. NTTAWWT IYKWIMAITYD
And Dahlhalla’s rack beats Meghan’s hands down!
Can’t stop drooling over pics of tits that sway because in Lubbock even the fattest chicks are flatter than the short stack at the Waffle House, eh, doggie puncher.
Know this song?
Lubbock Sucks (lyrics-Tucker/music-Tucker, Bitch)
I know a place that drags you down
I know a place where you hate to live
I know a place that’s inescapable
Enough Buddy Holly, I hate him
CHORUS
All the little pricks really make me sick ’cause
Lubbock sucks
Everybody’s down in this tiny little town ’cause
Lubbock sucks
I know a place that’s really boring
I know a place and you do too
I know a place where your own death
is the only thing you’re looking foward to
CHORUS
AWW! Thanks Mike! That’s a lovely compliment. And Stickee, was the impotence ref too obvious? haa.
Your’e welcome, darlin’!
That impotence ref was deliciously subtle and sparked a hearty burst of laughter. There should be a pro H8 campaign for Betas. I wonder if Meggie Mac would be willing to pose for the campaigns signature photo (It’s of a woman in high heels crushing the genitals of an anonymous man).
on second thought… BOOOOOOOBS
If boobs were brains . . . I’d be a zombie.
Dahlhalla, I like the cut of your, er…um, jib ! No seiously, you’re a fine figure of a woman, without the spoiled brattitude! Just the way I like ‘em; butm you know,m don’t tell my wife I said that to you…
Meggie Mac would be sooooooo jealous…
A great post, a real head-turner if I may be so bold. I especially liked the article about the German study you linked; it makes me feel a whole lot better that some of my lecherous ogling will actually add years to my life!
And I liked the Liveleak film at the end too, it was a riot.
Feel free to talk about boobs anytime; they’re generally on all our minds too!
All the best
Meghan Mccain breasts make twitter scandal photo.
She is so stupid she does not understand why people dislike her. Why? watch here
She is a tremendous example of the privilege that the idiot children of the rich receive
[...] H8t3R-Gate/Boobiepalooza/Real or Fake? « POWIP [...]
It’s probably all for the best if we ignore the tacky RINO spawn and her admitedly nice rack.
I find MeggyMac as compelling as watching ketamine-laced paint dry. While taking ketamine.
I’m not generally “pro boobage”-I’m more of a pro engorged vein type-and I’m definitely not pro Meggie, but I can’t stop staring at her boobs. They’re glorious! My ittie bitties covet them. Damn her!
On another note, call me cynical, but I really suspect Meggie might get some extra assistance on her Daily Beast column. I cannot fathom how someone who writes the way she does on Twitter can be the same person who, supposedly, writes te DB column.
I was trying to be very, um, GENEROUS in thinking she could’ve come up with Sturm und Drang on her own. Maybe she heard it in college? Whatevs, she definitely can’t even use an apostrophe in the right place on Twitter.
Meghan’s stupid, inane Daily Beast columns are more suited to Teen Vogue. I mean really, they are just one tiny step above Monica Lewinsky telling Bill her ideas on education policy between sucking his knob.
So of course, in this month of Saving the Ta Tas, Islamic fundamentalists are against any form of support:
http://tinyurl.com/yfjyzq8