Stacy and I were conversing on Twitter yesterday about Tiger Woods’ woes, and both of us believe that this wouldn’t be such a big deal if it were not for the fact that he’s a Cablinasian. Americans have little understanding of or tolerance for the Cablinasians in their midst, instead preferring to attempt to impose their values upon this minority. Who is to say that in Cablinasian society it is considered bad form to prefer buxom blondes, or to enjoy threesomes behind one’s wife’s back, fueled by booze, Ambien and Cialis? One may argue that the latter are unlikely to have been historical components of Cablinasian sex, but then there is no reliable document that I am aware of demonstrating that pre-Columbian Native Americans had keno or roulette parlors.
If indeed Tiger Woods was attacked by his wife, caught up in her own cultural interpretation of wedlock, with a golf club, then that represents the first time the MSM has reported on a hate crime against a Cablinasian. As deplorable as Scandi-on-Cablinasian violence may be, however, it is fortunate that Tiger Woods is a high-profile enough Cablinasian that this is getting a good deal of press coverage, and raising world-wide consciousness regarding this problem.
The only way we’re ever going to reduce violence directed against Cablinasians is to address the root causes, and that means we must understand Cablinasian culture from the point of view of Cablinasians. And that is why I am opening here at POWIP the first Internet Department of Cablinasian Studies. Please become part of the solution, and offer up your insights into this little understood and much abused culture.
Thanks to InstaGlenn for the link, and Donald Douglas, too. And Joy. And Memeorandum.
It’s official, then. I’m calling for submissions to The Journal of Cablinasian Studies.
Thanks, Fausta and Juliette, too, for the timely warning. Thanks to Cranky at Six Meat Buffet, and for the heartfelt apology to Tiger from Camp of the Saints.
One pop to the jaw for carrying on with 14 mistresses?
I like Cablinasian culture.
Maybe he’s a Mormon and doesn’t know it.
Perhaps this isn’t the forum to complain about cultural insensitivity and ignorance, but: mainstream Mormons haven’t practiced polygamy in over 100 years.
perhaps you really need to take the log out of your eye before complaining about the mote in someone else’s. It is not the officially the Mormons, it is the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. And yes, some offshoot branches still practice polygamy… didn’t you hear about the Raid in Texas several months ago?
I would rather this thread weren’t jacked. He specifically stated that Mainstream Mormons (to use the shorthand) haven’t done so for a long time.
Nowhere does the word “mainstream” appear in the original post.
I apologize, I didn’t mean to jack feel free to delete this and my earlier comment.
Not a big deal.
That’s what they told YOU, anyway.
http://www.myvideo.de/watch/797896/Dave_Chapelle_Racial_Draft
the best
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Robert McCain, Dan Collins. Dan Collins said: Department of Cablinasian Studies http://bit.ly/4s5fcN [...]
Woods may be a tiger on the golf course and a gourmand in the hotel room, but he’s a glutton for punishment in the home.
OTH, when he goes back to golfing, 3 billion people are going to watch him play.
something is definitely wrong in the head of that dude
Is there funding to be had? Because if we are talking Federal funding I think you are on to something. Or maybe you are on to nothing, but so long as there is funding to be had it certainly can be made to appear like something.
We’ll make CRU look like pikers.
You da best!
Tasteless humor.
Yes, yes. Tasteless, odorless and toxic, like CO2.
We never do like to see our deconstructions deconstructed, do we?
In that case, Dan – it should be taxed.
> In that case, Dan – it should be taxed.
Oh, come on. Isn’t being faced with the Obama Nation taxing enough for one lifetime?
[...] . . . Cablinasians. [...]
Keep in mind Tiger’s Thai heritage. In that culture marriage includes the multiple wives option. The only requirement is that you can afford them and wife number 1 never be publicly embarrassed by a minor wive. Tiger seems to have violated the embarrassment clause. As a side note, Thai surgeons are noted for their skill in penis reattachment.
Well, f*** that! The only option we pathetic Micks get is death. WTF is up with that? I want a refund!
Enoch: The only options we Eye-tyes get is the death of our whole familes, our friends, our co-workers [not so bad], our mailmen, our accountants, our blogger friends, any conservatives we like, and on and on –while we watched– until my WOP wife was satisfied.
Bob – I love the IEye-Talians and all – but I was complaining about how hard WE have it. Dude, you’re jumping my train, man! Blowing my victimhood! Insensitive bastard! WEEEEEE have a harder go of it! POOOOORRRRRRR MEEEEEEEEEEE
Pls return to crass-cultural training 101…
I see your victimhood and raise you: We WOPS have had it a lot harder than you Paddy bastards. Not only were we looked down upon by the WASP’s when we came over, but, manuge-en-a-mia, we were looked down upon by the friggin’ Micks! Take that, potato breath!
Bob – there is no way the I-Talians can claim a higher victimhood than we Micks! No way – while you were all, like, eaten your Manicotti and killing each other with razor blades at your own Baptisms, we were being impressed into military service, indentured home servants, not allowed to go to school, not allowed to even apply for jobs – and made out to be gorillas and sub-human, diseased, and alcoholic brutes! In fact, we were sooooooo despised that the Chinks were considered more “valuable” to the rail foreman! Imaging, a Paddy beneath a Chink! Now that is truly low, you f**king WOP! Take that!
Enoch, you better not let thor hear you making these arguments. See, no Micks ever were treated the way you described; that ignominy was strictly the privilege of blacks-as is their current exceptional status in the temple of identity politics.
I mean, he’s freaked out on Darleen over the very same assertions, so beware…
The same is true for Bob Belvedere too…
Your Oppressions Can’t Measure Up!1!1!!eleventy
I mean, amazingly he’s told me the same thing about my Cherokee heritage too…
Cherokee? Cherokee?
What complaints could YOU possibly have?
Whatever, man! My victimhood ruuuuullllles!
[...] Dan Collins inaugurates The Department of Cablinasian Studies. [...]
We grease-balls were considered sub-human and not white! Ha! But even if my dago hertiage ain’t got your Mick hertiage beat, combined with the fact that I’m part Cherokee [great great grandmother full-blooded Injun][though I wear a shirt & tie, I'm still a Redman deep inside], her husband served in the GAR but his father and brothers served in the Confereate Army [redneck raaaaacists], I’ve been oppressed from multiple angles. HA!
‘We poor Irish!’ Waaaaa! You came here and took over all the bars and then took over politics. We Eye-tyes cooked great food and made love and laid brick.
Dammit!
Aw, Enoch…don’t take it so hard: you Paddys will always be sub-human to me!
It is appreciated! Reparations are next!
Maybe Holly Sampson will agree to lead a symposium!
Were you able to link that through your gale of flying vomit?
Note Holly’s accent; she’s probably a proud Daughter of the Confederacy, or from Oklahoma.
Vile Hurl Bomb Warning!
Mellencamp’s never been one of my favorites…Not surprisingly, he’s one of yours…
He thinks correctly…
Yeah – I think it’s safe to say Mellencamp sucks.
Holly speaks fluent Cablinasian, you know.
I’m sure she does. The later the evening, the better she gets.
Threesomes? 15-somes if the British tabs are to be believed. Holy crap, I’m not appalled, I’m impressed.
“Cablinasian”. I understand the asian part but what is cablin?
Caucasian, Black, Indian.
[...] Collin’s rousing call to action. The only way we’re ever going to reduce violence directed against Cablinasians is to address the [...]
So now the Tiger man gets interested in inter-cultural conflict. The fool never checked to see that Scandinavian women win the affection of their love objects by bashing them with a club. This practice dates back to their fairly recent cave-dwelling days.
Quoted from and Linked to at:
AN APOLOGY [for being culturally insensitive]
Coming Soon to an Ivy League School Near You…
Introducing: The Internet Department of Cablinasian Studies. Your lecturers for the seminar will be Dan from …
Dialectical materialism demands that we celebrate the historical richness of Cablinasian culture and incorporate it into our national tapestry of behavioral modalities. After all, Bill Clinton was our first Cablinasian President.
Cablinasians are from Venus, Scandinavians from Mars.
Y’all need to quit your bitchin’. Those of us on reservations are glad we’re not Cablinasians because … er, uh ya know, we coulda been held in rural prison camps. And had our kids taken away to someplace where they’d be beaten for speaking their native language.
But that’s just crazy talk! Bring on the beautiful blond amazons swingin’ golf clubs!
Charles Johnson is from Pluto, Andrew Sullivan is from Uranus.
@whitesupremacy what ru up2
@catholicsownzwrld woods 24/7 on fox, xcuze me wile i puke
@whitesupremacy wot did blndy xpekt, blk dudes b pimps
@catholicsownzwrld wot i’m tlkin bout1
@whitesupremacy remmmbrr woods sayn he wont no blk?
@catholicsownzwrld eye3rlln out loud
@whitesupremacy i shld writ smthing fnny bout that
@catholicsownzwrld fnny? yeh, c how well tht wrk3d out 4 me
@whitesupremacy chaz jhnson biggrrst lzr evah
@catholicsownzwrld at mass i prayd 4 his hed 2 fal rt off
@whitesupremacy ill setll 4 gout in hiz blog hands
@catholicsownzwrld note pny tail, heza injun im tellnya
2 b con10yuud
What’s up with this?
Are these some twitter sock-puppets you maintain in order to be able to later disingenuously point, with beathless lament and shaking e-finger, to the insidious RAAAAAAACIST! wingerz in our midst..?
Or is it some more stream of consciousness/rEVOLUTION! poetry for the baristas..?
I’m just curious
Dan asked for submissions. Can’t you read?
Submissions to the journal of Cablinasian studies, not the journal of sock-puppetry!
I hope you washed them things too…
There I was wishing that I had a cool ethnographic name like Cablinasian–so I made my own.
I’m not white, I’m:
Orkfrelticteutokeebilly.
Cypher that.
Hello can I use some of the information from this blog if I provide a link back to your site?