The Elaborate AoSHQ Pudding Hoax

Or, I Was Scammed by a Vast Moron Conspiracy

So, I'm at the bloggers row at the Scott Brown festivity at the Park Plaza in Boston, last night, and discover the E-wocky looking guy blogging next to me is Ace of Spades, and we chat a little bit. Then one of his Morons, named Andy, comes by with some Jell-O pudding, and they're taking pictures of the pudding, and pictures of Norah O'Donnell with the pudding, and making vague allusions to "dipping." So then Ace passes out this pudding, for dipping, and gives me one.

And I'm all like, "What do you mean, 'dipping'?" And they're all like, it's this long-running gag over at AoSHQ blog, that sort of turns around the whole not-very-well-thought-through "tea bagging" rant that the lefty douchebags have been on since summer, and that in order to celebrate this momentous occasion, and embrace the . . . meataphor, I suppose, after Brown's victory is announced we're going to cloister ourselves (individually) and dip our balls in pudding. So, it's not tapioca, which I really thought would have been more appropriate, but, hey, I was in a fraternity, and dipping my balls in pudding isn't a big hang-up, but the main thing was that Ace promised to link me up for performing this Moron Ritual.

Brown wins, obviously. I go to the bathroom (I'm dressed so that I'm indistinguishable for the roustabouts in shipping and receiving, so this is an easy matter) and have the refreshing, somewhat bracing experience of empuddening my testes. And when I come back, it's all high fives and secret handshakes and back slapping and good blog, nice to meet you, hope to see you again, yadda yadda.

Today, though? NO LINK.

I fucked up; I trusted them. Bob Belvedere, by contrast, links me even though he didn't promise to.

I mean, what kind of people go through this elaborate scheming to give some poor shmoe they've never met, who's never done them any harm, a case of vanilla crotch? Seriously, WTF?

If you should ever happen to meet Ace and his Merry Band of Morons, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS SCROTASTROPHIC SCAM.

Ace of Spades. He puts the pud in pudding. That is all.

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer

Holy Mother of God:

Right now there are a lot of discussions going on about the best path forward. But let's be clear that the President's preference is to pass a bill that meets the principles he laid out months ago: more stability and security for those who have insurance, affordable coverage options for those who don’t, and lower costs for families, businesses, and governments.

Can you imagine what a conversation among these douchebags must be like?

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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Pick Up Trucks Are Raaaaacist

People don't buy them for their utility; they buy them as secret code.

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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Don’t get cocky, kid

I'm glad my husband woke me up at midnight last night to tell me about the Scott Brown win. My main thought: Yay, finally someone I give money to wins his election. [I have a really bad track record on this]

And so this morning I'm looking for reaction posts from the lefties I know personally [mainly from school or from Mathcamp], and I'm feeling a little sorry for them - well, for the younger ones amongst them.

I remember when I voted in an election for the first time, as an 18-year-old standard college leftie in North Carolina. There was a big Clinton rally that September at my college, and Clinton and Gore were both there. My roomie was a Democratic party worker, and she got a bunch of us tickets for the "special section" up front. It was like a rock concert, and I was so excited to be voting for someone I considered my dream president.

By 1994, I was thoroughly disillusioned. All the issues Clinton said he would address... in the waste bin. All the lies that nobody believed. The failed nominations where he didn't defend his nominees [I bet Kimba Wood and Zoe Baird are so pleased now that someone like Tim Geithner could be Sec'y of Treasury]. I didn't vote for the man so he could satisfy his ego -- I wanted certain things done, and they didn't happen.

[I did not become conservative until years later -- my disillusionment was my education in how much faith to put in politicians. That's why I'm somewhat sick of the Palin hagiography -- I like the woman and her politics, but damn, she's a politician, not the Second Coming.]

Yeah, yeah, who am I to act as if I were a grizzled old political observer, given I just became eligible to run for President last year, but I do not require decades of looking at the same mistakes over and over again.

So while I'm very happy Scott Brown won, I'm under no illusion that this means the electorate of Massachusetts is any less liberal than it was before. For Republicans, as a party, shouldn't interpret the rejection of the Democrats as a mandate to go back to their old ways. I think the Democrats misinterpreted the elections of the past four years as a mandate for their agenda, as opposed to people being sick of Republicans and Bush.

So if Republicans want to keep winning [or if Democrats want to prevent a replay of the election of '94 -- 1894, that is], they need to figure out what exactly has pissed people off. I don't think it's because Congress has failed at pushing a more left, oh sorry progressive agenda. [I tried linking to a progressive PAC petition here, where in response to the Brown victory they claim the anger is because Obama, Pelosi, and Reid haven't been pursuing a left-enough agenda.... uh, that's not terribly credible; WordPress keeps stripping out that link, so heh, I guess we're saved from that insanity].

I don't think politicians who want to get reelected are fooled by this talk, but it does get easy to tell yourself stories about how the people love you as opposed to really loathing the other guy.

Meep

Meep is a member of the Irish Catholic mafia, having a suspiciously high number of green-eyed, red-haired friends. While she doesn’t have red hair herself [except when she goes into the sun (rare for any vampire)], she does have green eyes. She’s a raving Papist and is a life actuary on the side [i.e., she counts dead people]. An amateur pain-in-the-ass [willing to go pro!], she likes covering retirement, mortality, math, and education issues.

Oh, God – no, no, no, no, nooooooooooo!

Priceless...

With Apologies to Elvis Costello and the Ugly Guy from Weird Science

Completely Unrelated I thought most men preferred fit cattle... but it appears these enlightened men of enlightened loving faith like theirs plump when you cook 'em

N.O.W., ACLU, and Rachel Maddow unavailable for comment.

Enoch_Root

AKA. Bobby Donn Brubaker (the most popular man in Mesa, AZ), the Umbrella of Terror, Jack Ketch.

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The occasion of Scott Brown’s Massachusettes Senate victory

Waterloo!

Brings one word to mind...

Waterloo !

Now what?    (Image courtesy of Uruknet.info)

I wonder if the President will resist the urge to stick his hand in his coat?  But who really cares?  Right now I just want to celebrate good times.

Rocketman

A Dream Goes On Forever

not always the same one, though. Goodnight, Camelot.

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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Romney Stops By

Bunch of bloggers surround him. He says something about health care being the kind of issue that needs to be settled at state level, that you can't raise taxes, etc. Something about conservative principles.

Ace and I have a stellar view of Nora O'Donnell's butt (in a spandexy animal print), but so far she hasn't cried, so . . . that's a disappointment.

Sorry: couldn't get zoom to work.

Just spoke to Bill Hudak, who is running for the 6th District House Seat here in MA, and who was instrumental, particularly in the early organization for Scott Brown. So, when I've got a bit of time, I'll be in contact with him and get you the details.

Kerry's on TV, now, and the booing is deafening. He was saying something, I guess, but I've never heard him say something worth the hearing, so I'm not bothered.

Now's the inevitable, Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye.

Some woman whom I can't see is talking about not having lost their determination, but I can only make out ever 7th word, or so. Crowd is chanting Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. I stood up, and sure enough, it's Coakley's formal concession speech.

Big jeers at the mention of Obama. More boos at the mention of Clinton.

As she yammers on, people start chanting, "We want Scott," naturally. Catcalls.

YEEEEEAAAAARRRRRRRGH!

Back to a live shot of the crowd on the monitor onstage. People getting worked up as the post the cover of the Boston Herald announcing the win. The Glob soon to follow.

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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Now Comes the Band

American Band.

Just talked with Kurt, internet co-ordinator for the campaign. You can read about that over at Ace's, though it's clear from his comments that they received substantial support from the "Tea Party" movement, broadly speaking.

There was so much interest from out of state, that about a week ago, they set up 3 phone banks of, I think he said, 150 each, that they were able to staff with the folks who came on their own dime to volunteer. So, as Stacy would say, hit the tip jar, so I can have a beer or two, while I'm here.

One of the AoSHQ Morons, Andy, brought pudding for the ceremonial ball dipping later on. I would have preferred tapioca. Seems that Ace originally wanted butterscotch. How wrong is that?

Badfinger needs more cowbell. Not enough.

Polls have closed. I'll keep you posted.

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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Now Comes the Milling About

So, to the right of me is Ace of Spades. Earlier, I introdued myself to Pam Geller, and Karen Tumulty of Time Magazine is actually sitting behind Stacy. We all had a nice chat with Carl Cameron, earlier.

We caught the communications manager for the Brown campaign saying that they knew by 8:30 this morning that they'd won. All of the bellwethers were tipping their way. Stacy's going to have some video up, probably at the Green Room, later, where he asked specifically about Fitchburg. Camera people at this point are finding it difficult to set up, there's so little space left.

We're talking to a campaign rep who says that there's no evidence that Coakley's mounted a reasonable challenge, so it seems that this is going to be party central soon.

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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