Thanks to Dan for the inspiration.
I googled *dating advice for men* specifically, and it returned 18 million different sites dealing with this issue alone. Good grief, how did things get so fracking complicated? All these rules: be yourself, but not if you’re *different.* Ask her out, but use this script we provide. Keep it simple just complicates things even more. Make her feel pretty, but don’t stare at her breasts, or legs, or anywhere but her eyes, and on and on, ad infinitim. I don’t know about you, but even as a female, I see all these rules for men to follow, and it’s enough to give me indigestion. How does anyone manage to get together these days with all this madness?
I understand this is the culture we have created, and it poisons both sexes. Even though it’s been a while since I’ve been out there, I remember all too well some of the horrors of dating. So the only anitidote I can think of to give a man is this, ignore all that shit and go it alone. I am convinced you can figure it out by yourself, no matter how “socially challenged” you are. Do you really need AskMen.com to spell it all out for you? Now I’m sure there will be mistakes along the way, and probably rejection. God knows, no one is perfect. But if there is a lady out there for you, it will happen, and get this, without the 18 million pages of rules, advice, and tips. Amazing right?
Oh yeah, and just one more thing, if I wear a low-cut form-fitting dress it’s BECAUSE I want you to check out my cleavage, dammit. So there’s that.
[...] Cross-posted at POWIP [...]
All the guys are wondering where the pic is.
“if I wear a low-cut form-fitting dress it’s BECAUSE I want you to check out my cleavage, dammit.”
Ah, if only most women would admit to that.
Yeah – pic
Well, hmmm. Maybe next time I actually get to wear a low-cut, form-fitting dress, I’ll take one for you.
Here’s one bit of advice, though.
If you want to date a woman who’s not a ho, don’t use vulgar pick-up lines to introduce yourself.
Just sayin’
1. Spend freely on good food and intoxicants.
2. Large sock filled with sand and stuffed down trousers.
3. If food, intoxicants and sock don’t work, pull out said sock and strike sharply behind the ear with it.
What?
Richard…most of us just laugh when we see the sock in the trousers.
Though it’s been several decades since I dated, I also seem to remember that females get cuddly with some intoxicants and men get…intoxicated.
I don’t believe you on that low cut dress thingie, chick. Experience has taught me the hard way that you want someone to check out your cleavage, but it ain’t me.
And, dicentra, that vulgar pickup line advice? Wrong. It’s a time-saver. Sure, you get turned down a lot, but whenever a woman responds, bingo, you just got lucky. Otherwise, you have to go out several times with each rejecter before you figure out you ain’t gonna get lucky.
Just saying.
Scott:
I did qualify that if you want a woman who’s not a ho, you don’t use the vulgarity.
You did pick up on the corrollary that if you do want a ho, the vulgar lines are the fastest way to winnow out the chaff.
There are two true things.1. The only thing women hate worse than being hit on all the time, is not being hit on all the time.2.If they don’t act like nymphos before the wedding, after the wedding, it’s valentines day(with the proper bribe) and your birthday.