POWIP Piece of Work In Progress – Former Abode of Dan Collins

3Aug/1018

Help Michelle help you…

... feed your kids what she wants them to eat.

Mmm, mmm, mmm

My son is too skinny because he's on a special diet for the autism that the government can't seem to determine the cause of because they're super busy determining that it definitely wasn't anything they did.  Which is fine, we got this.  However, I am spending the summer trying to fatten him up before his next doctor's appointment.  If I don't we'll have to go to an official dietitian, which will mean more of me leaving the house.  I hate leaving the house because I can't take all of you with me :(

It's nice to finally have something in common with the first lady, obsessing over what my kid is eating.  Michelle Obama cares about the children.  And she knows about the children.  She cares and knows about the children, your children, more than you.  Try to remember that.  Can you remember that?  Because they could hire some people to come to your house and make sure you understand that, clearly.

Golly, that's a big job.  And I'm out of money to give the government (seriously, bloodless stone here), but there's no price on information.  Hence, my epiphany.  It came to me while I was frying an entire pound of bacon for my starving children this morning.  All the good mothers of America should write down everything their no good, lardbutt kids eat for a month and mail it to the First Lady.  We could call it Mo's Fat Kid Awareness month.  We'll need pointless rubber bracelets and look at me pretend to care awareness ribbons.  Maybe sometime this fall but after Mo is done harvesting her organic garden.  On the last day of said month we'll all mail our fat baby logs to Mrs. Obama so she and her staff (that we're paying a collective $1.6 million dollars a year) can go over it with a fine tooth comb.  It'll be like a fat finding mission! LOL.

Here's her address:

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Washington, DC 20500

Attn: MO

P.S. Robert Gibbs for "fat kid emeritus"

crossposted at KillTruck

Kill Truck

KillTruck is a wife, mother, blogger and native midwesterner now living in Eastern Washington state. She writes about politics, pop culture, parenting, wifing and a few other subjects she has no authority to write about. She has macabre fascinations with prostitution and/or cannibalism. In her free time she enjoys eating and/or drinking her feelings, liveblogging Lifetime movies, thinking about Scott Brown and mocking things she doesn’t understand.

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Comments (18) Trackbacks (2)
  1. Enoch_Root
    August 3rd, 2010 - 14:23

    grilled cheese & tater tots. oh, and tomato soup.

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  2. Thorgina McSaladtosser
    August 3rd, 2010 - 19:12

    Have a hefty helping of ego! No calories!!!

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  3. Saint Jack Tatum
    August 3rd, 2010 - 20:20

    The First Lady of the United States of America is a strong, healthy, beautiful woman.

    KiLL_TruCk is a butt-ugly, sick looking strip of ridden hard, fatty skank meat.

    The First Lady of the United States of America is a highly educated lady of grace and class.

    KiLL_TruCk reminds most of a helpless, dumb, wounded animal too recently paved by the large tires of a Mack truck.

    The First Lady of the United States is a wonderful loving Mother raising two healthy above-average children.

    KiLL_TruCk welfares through a trailer park and feeds her child/children uncooked Spam and pork rinds from a Socialist shelter’s food bank.

    Michelle Obama truly is the epitome of honest success in today’s America.

    KiLL_TruCk wastes her life away being a friggin’ no good racist bigot.

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    • KillTruck
      August 3rd, 2010 - 22:52

      Oh baby, tell me more.

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      • Saint Jack Tatum
        August 4th, 2010 - 00:07

        Hi, RubBer TRucKy, how’s life on the fat farm.

        So, like, the logic of your argument is that the current First Lady of the Unites States of America is, you know, trying to force upon you what to feed your children when she advocates for a healthy choice diet to combat child obesity. Maybe you can show me when and where you decried Laura Bush for telling Americans what to read when as First Lady of the United States of America she advocated for increased literacy. Go ahead, make my day, dumdum.

        You lack much logic.

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    • enoch_root
      August 4th, 2010 - 04:15

      you lost me at butt ugly, Thor – I personally find kill_truck exquisitely beautiful. but then I never had much use for wookies.

      you know, it’s amazing any woman would even let you close enough to her to impregnate.

      on a side note, you are maybe the least qualified to speak of “class”

      seriously, dude, coming out of the closet would probably be healthy for you. we won’t hold it against you, you frat-boy, trust-funder.

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  4. Saint Jack Tatum
    August 3rd, 2010 - 20:24

    Michelle Obama – hell yes I would!

    Mmm, baby got back!

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  5. Enoch_Root
    August 4th, 2010 - 06:22

    Also – is it me or does M.O. look like Mike Tyson?

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  6. receive fax online for free
    June 23rd, 2011 - 10:45

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