Urgent: US Pudding Reserve at Historic Lows

1Nov/1018

Urgent: US Pudding Reserve at Historic Lows

Wendell Albright is a 5th-generation Vermont pudding rancher, and he says he's never seen demand for pudding so high:

"Ayuh, it was a good year for us," he says, mucking out the stalls in his barn. "Warn't nothin' bad about the season. So, it don't make much sense, I reckon. Here in Vermont, seems we got almost enough pudding, but I'm hearin' tell of shortages elsewhere."

Department of Agriculture statistics reveal that Albright's correct about the nationwide trend. Grocers are hardly able to keep pudding in stock on their shelves. Ted Rooney, a manager for Hy-Vee in Iowa City, IA, has a theory:

"Pudding is one of the most basic 'comfort foods.' In times of social stress, people turn to pudding. First, all the ready-made pudding packs disappeared, then the packets. We've tried to source some more of the off-brands, but it seems everyone else has, too. The good news is that there may be more in time for Thanksgiving, but if you need some now, and you see it, you'd better grab it."

David Stockman of the American Pudding Institute sees things a little differently. Stockman's widely ridiculed theory is that high demand for pudding somehow forecasts big Republican victories in an election:

"For the past year, or so," Stockman says, "pudding sales have anticipated major Republican victories in political campaigns across the country. Other analysts say that's ridiculous, and it's true that I haven't found a smoking-gun connection that would explain the trend, but it's indisputable. Let's just say that there's a much stronger correlation than there is with hemlines, and people still talk about that."

Stockman says that Noxema sales get a small bump when pudding sales skyrocket, so that perhaps people are more mindful of 'creamy stuff' when they go to the grocery.

UPDATE: Thanks to Maetenloch at AoSHQ for picking up this important story.

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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Tagged as: Ace of Spades, balls, dipping, pudding Leave a comment

Comments (18) Trackbacks (2) ( subscribe to comments on this post )

Mr. Bingley
November 1st, 2010 - 07:10

Where’s the love for tapioca?

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- Dan Collins
  November 1st, 2010 - 07:13
  
  I love tapioca, but honestly, isn’t it a bit like eating vegetable boogers?
  
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  - buelldawg
    November 1st, 2010 - 18:41
    
    Vegetable boogers! I lol’d.
    
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  - TC
    November 1st, 2010 - 18:42
    
    More like fish eyes and glue
    
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Mr. Bingley
November 1st, 2010 - 07:17

And probably a little too…gritty…for Tuesday evening.

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Bob Reed
November 1st, 2010 - 08:14

I’ve had my reserves in stock for some time, along with plenty of popcorn.

Although in spite of ACE’s, er, now well known celebratory ritual, the only thing I’m planning to dip into my pudding is a spoon…

I’ll stick to the understated silent fist pump that has served me well over the years instead.

In case anyone’s wondering: Chocolate and Butterscotch.

You see, I too am a Tapiocist!

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Bob Reed
November 1st, 2010 - 08:15

Oh, and what’s up with the highly magnafied comment sections as of late?

Just curious.

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- Dan Collins
  November 2nd, 2010 - 05:59
  
  Ive no idea – I was tinkering and we got this…
  
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J.J. Sefton
November 1st, 2010 - 18:11

I’ve got futures in Kozy Shack.

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David Gillies
November 1st, 2010 - 18:24

Caution: if substituting Jell-O® brand gelatine dessert product, ensure it has cooled to room temperature before undertaking any dipping-related activities. I have learnt this the hard way.

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George Orwell
November 1st, 2010 - 18:34

This supply and demand imbalance seems to have spread to ETFs covering scrotum care, industrially manufactured ethyl alcohol, and garrotes. This last gruesome item has been spotted near homeless encampments or “hoboes” as they were known in the first Great Depression.

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garrett
November 1st, 2010 - 18:43

This is why I make my own.

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serr8d
November 1st, 2010 - 21:19

Pudding? Sure, why not? As long as it’s been properly integrated, RAAAAACISTS!

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snaqwells
November 1st, 2010 - 21:27

I keep my pudding right next to the ammo in my basement vault.

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David
November 2nd, 2010 - 00:11

Alright, I am flummoxed. I have been seeing this pudding referenced a couple times. What the heck does it mean?

I have an idea but TOO embarrassed to assume.

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- Dan Collins
  November 2nd, 2010 - 04:21
  
  Here’s a primer on pudding’s topical uses: http://powip.com/2010/01/the-elaborate-aoshq-pudding-hoax/
  
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comatus
November 2nd, 2010 - 11:28

One cannot but be reminded of the routine that made Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner famous, The 2000 Year Old Man. While the Man is out, the seeker enters his apartment, finds his large bowl of longevity potion, and drinks it right down.
Brooks, returning unexpectedly, rasps, “You don’t drink it! You soak your feet in it!”

Well David, it’s a little like that. A little.

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serr8d
November 2nd, 2010 - 08:06

It’d be nice if you could tinker your way to restoring the e-mail comment notification thinger. Am I the only poster who has this problem ?

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