Kate Middleton’s Nipples [UPDATED]

Slated to replace “Bob’s your uncle.”

Stacy McCain, drawing on his vast knowledge of human nature, has for some time now had the top Google ranking for “Kate Middleton upskirt photos.” Britons (by rights, I think, since they underwrite it) naturally are interested in the environs visited by the Royal Penises, and relieved, I suppose, after long consideration of Camilla Bowles, that the body attached to the (now) Royal Vagina of their new Princess is comely.

While I haven’t any upskirt photos, I do have evidence that Kate Middleton has nipples, or at any rate a nipple (though the other one seem implied):

If you don’t care for that, you’re a very epicure. The fellow on the left seems keenly aware that he has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to scope things out through a very slender layer of fabric. I imagine that gives one as much an idea of the Newly Royalized Vagina as any upskirt photo might. I hope I can say without any prurience that it appears to me from the evidence available that it is not likely mutant in any important respect. Another British Kate who fills out a bathing suit rather better, IMO, is Kate Upton, which is what you get by mashing together Kate Middleton and upskirt.

But since we bloggers are very much celebrities in our own right, I’m certain that a large number of you have wondered what my wife looks like, naked. I am given to understand that it would be bad form actually to post a photo of my naked wife, but this ought to give you a pretty good idea. Note that I am merely stating that this is quite similar, the important thing being that it’s not identical (NSFW):

UPDATE: So far, interest in Kate Middleton’s nipples has emanated from Katmandu, Karachi, Brazil, Italy (naturally), France, Switzerland, Denmark, Australia, Canada, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Ireland, Austria, Spain, and a variety of other countries, suggesting (though not proving) that fascination with Royal Nipples is trans-cultural.

Welcome, Athens, Kuala Lumpur, Dusseldorf, Taipei.

About Dan Collins
Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

8 Comments on Kate Middleton’s Nipples [UPDATED]

  1. Bob Reed // 04/29/2011 at 1:35 pm // Reply

    Dude! The future Queen-consort has a belly-button ring? I wonder what the Queen-mum thinks of that…

    But, that said, she is a rather, er, healthy specimen indeed.

    I wish her and William a long and happy lifetime together.

    As an aside, I wonder if Harry will be titled as the Duke of Earl?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

  2. Few women – The New Royal and My Lovely Daughter being in that minority – can make the belly-button ring look as it was intended. Good on ya, Kate!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  3. As an official Fellow of the McCain-Collins Institute, I have to note that I wholeheartedly approve.

    My coronary arteries thank you for the “health break”!

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  4. Breasticlez // 04/30/2011 at 10:14 pm // Reply

    Who’s your “wife-lookalike”? She’s smoking. No srsly, what’s her name?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  5. Bob Belvedere // 05/01/2011 at 5:09 pm // Reply

    Considering my colleague, Dr. Clyde ‘Fingers’ Proctor is a member of the Collins-McCain Institute, it was bad form for you not to mention the TCOTS Pippa Middleton Upskirt Photo post! [traffic is up 11x normal amount!]

    Dr. Robert ‘Bob’ Belvedere, OB-GYN
    The Lord Fatheringay Von Whoopsie Memorial Hospital and Tiki Bar

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  6. Bob Belvedere // 05/01/2011 at 5:10 pm // Reply

    Damn POWIP Spam Bucket!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  7. I am so happy to see you!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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