POWIP Piece of Work In Progress – Former Abode of Dan Collins

H8t3R-Gate/Boobiepalooza/Real or Fake?

WHAT??? What are you looking at? Seriously people. This is just my chest and me at home. Why are you staring? Leave me alone, I'm just having fun. Stalkers. All of ya.

Certain sublimely ridiculous events of this past week have tied themselves together rather miraculously. It's been pretty exciting, not gonna lie. After all, on Tuesday I did promise to talk about this, so here we go.

Sunday: Boob drama.  Someone I follow on Twitter has a lovely avatar (that is very tasteful) featuring a side view of her chest. This happens to be something several people are doing at the moment in support of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Fine, right? No. A brouhaha begins when another female Twitterer starts mocking these faceless girls showing only their breastesses. When all was explained to the mocker, she continued the attacks.

Tuesday: Celebrity boob drama! also, Real or Fake? January Jones is the gorgeous cover feature of GQ this month, and the internetz erupt with speculation! Are they real? Is it just normal magazine photoshopping magic? This is important, they did a study. Oh yeah, there's also this study.

Wednesday: Boobie meltdown! Twitter threats! Big Bazongas! Hump day was a special day for Meghan McCain. Via Twitter, she a) puts down Allahpundit of Hot Air (for like the zillionth time--I could talk about the history here, but that's material for a whoooole other post),  b) decides to have a "spontaneous night in", c) posts a demure picture of said activity, d) is super hurt by strangers' comments about the picture, and e) threatens to cancel her Le Twit account because of the "harassment". I won't go into too much philosophical detail since this has been covered by everyone from MTV to the Christian Science Monitor (Perez Hilton even filed it under "pHOtos"), but I stand by the belief that she got exactly what she wanted. Her publicists and agents are ecstatic, I can assure you. My thoughts are pretty much encapsulated under the photo above, also RS McCain covered it fantastically.

Brief story time: I went to college (a small music conservatory where everyone knew each other pretty intimately) with a girl who kind of reminds me of Meghan. She was childish, bratty, extremely beautiful, and had GIGANTIC breasts on a very small frame. This girl had a small group of protective friends who would comfort her every time she would burst into tears from someone "staring at her chest". Even though she often wore beyond tight, near see-through tops, we weren't supposed to look. No one really said anything to her face, it was simply the act of noticing that would send her into a crying fit. Don't feel too bad for her though. Midway through undergrad she became a stripper and made massive amounts of money. Between the money and the crying, she was pretty much a genius. Crying = attention! Stripping = attention! (and dollars). It was a well-known fact, not something she hid at school or anything. When classmates would "accidentally" show up at the strip club to see her perform, she'd have a fit and make them swear to secrecy they wouldn't tell anyone else what she did outside of school! The memories of her pouty, victim-y face SO reminds me of Ms. McCain.

No Meghan. Cleavage doesn't make you a slut. Sluttiness makes you a slut! Someday, when you and I hang out here in NYC, I can tell you REAL slutty stories. Because I have a lot of them. I think they'd even shock a big-boobied, tattooed, leather-wearing, name-calling Republican young woman like yourself.

WAIIIIT! I can't forget Balloon Boy! He was the Thursday event. Falls into the category of Real or Fake? too. Get it? Fake boobs = balloons? har har har.

And Friday brings us yet another lively tome from our heroine. I am crazy-ultra impressed by her use of the term Sturm und Drang, I must say. It's something we talk about almost every day where I work, and there she goes and uses it to talk about bewbie-dramatics.

Breasts and Balloons shall Unite teh World! As well as awesomely awesome Twitter-feuds that entertain us (though predictably wimp and fizzle out like--- well, like something impotent).

Until next week, here's a parting present: a tribute to "appreciative" men everywhere.

Dahlhalla

Dahlhalla is a professional troublemaker and classical musician living in New York City. Schooled in Seattle (with Liz Mair), and college-d in San Francisco (where she played with the Grateful Dead once, no joke). She truly lives the plots of several telenovellas on a daily basis. Yeah. Just ask any anonymous blogger you know. Currently dating her way through the former Bush Administration, Dahlhalla is gathering enough material to hopefully post more than once every other month. But until then…OMG SHOES.

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Mass of Miscellany

because it's Friday.

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um, okay...I was more excited when my friend's dad won a few years ago.

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Jeb Bush speaks of acne, fashion (kinda) and responsibility.

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Now you can really be bluffin' with your muffin (and freak out the neighborhood) for a mere 25 thou.

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Speaking of La Gaga, she talks about her monsters (and 8 new songs), but I'm more obsessed with this.

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I love the idea of this site, but I'm a braggart like that.

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Watch a little live-action footage of the hot hott hawttie who shared a girl with Letterman.

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You could for reals not run if you wear these John Galliano muthas from the Fall 2009 collection:

The Italian pianist version of the Christian Bale freakout.

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Heidi Montag wants to introduce you to a rare book she discovered (don't miss the comments).

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Speaking of fine literature, I personally recommend a nice bonnet-ripper.

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Because I'm sure to sneak in at least one Glennie link per week, here's something adorable.

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If you want to see some cool-kid stuff, go here!

Dahlhalla

Dahlhalla is a professional troublemaker and classical musician living in New York City. Schooled in Seattle (with Liz Mair), and college-d in San Francisco (where she played with the Grateful Dead once, no joke). She truly lives the plots of several telenovellas on a daily basis. Yeah. Just ask any anonymous blogger you know. Currently dating her way through the former Bush Administration, Dahlhalla is gathering enough material to hopefully post more than once every other month. But until then…OMG SHOES.

More Posts - Website