Everything Comes Full Circle

It all started 26 years ago with a scared little girl, in a closet, being molested by a neighbor. Through all the heartache, all the tears, the hurt, the anger, I can honestly say it's come full circle. I have always believed the words of Paul in Romans when he said, "And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Indeed, as I have written numerous times on my site, I am grateful for the adversity. It's made me strong, totally reliant on God. He has already used my pain for His glory.

But because He is God, He has decided to take it to a whole new level.

I went on my first international mission trip to Leon, Nicaragua two years ago. I was hooked immediately. Something in me changed. For the first time in my life, I thought, I could do this full time. I have always had a heart for those unjustly oppressed, and after my first experience in a third world country, my heart began to bleed.

Soon after, I began volunteering at a local rape and abuse assistance non-profit. I thought my work there, along with taking yearly trips back to Nicaragua would ease the ache in my heart. But it didn't. Over the past two years that ache has multiplied. Working for victims of injustice part time was no longer acceptable. I got to the point where I could no longer rationalize my cushy sales job making lots of money, with the injustice I had seen firsthand both locally and in other parts of the world.

So this week, I took the plunge and quit my job. I left corporate America behind, with it's nice retirement and comfortable salary, for a job where I could pursue my passion. I truly believe it is a calling, one 26 years in the making. If not for my abuse, I don't know that I would have had the will or the heart to want to stop it for others.

So, I will now be working for International Justice Mission.  IJM is a christian, non-profit that seeks to end modern day slavery. We are in over 14 countries world wide including Southeast Asia, India, Africa, and South America. IJM literally goes into brothels, rescues girls from forced prostitution, and seeks convictions for the bastards who traffic them. They also work to shut down paper mills, brick mills, and other forced slavery operations around the world.

And by the grace of God, I will be a part of that. Every day.

Words cannot express how humbled I am that even with all my mistakes, my imperfections, my screw-ups, God still uses me for a greater purpose. I owe everything to Him who is "greater within me than he who is in the world." Indeed with every brothel torn down, every trafficker sentenced, every young girl rescued, it will be a victory in my life, a smack to the heart of my abusers. What Satan meant for evil to destroy me, God is using for good. And I LOVE that.

I have been studying the book of Ephesians over the past several weeks. It is so true that before we can walk in the world, we must first learn to sit and rest in what He has already done for us. For it was only when I was able to accept my abuse, and rest in the fact that Christ saved me from it (rather than struggle trying to save myself), that I could "walk" in this world and take the offensive.

Please pray for me as I embark on this new journey in my life. I know it is one that I cannot do on my own.

-Johanna

PS. How cool is it that this post comes nearly one year to the day of my very first post on my blog? To quote one of my favorite movies ever, Sergeant York, "the Lord sure does work in mysterious ways."

Cross-posted at Johanna Hopes.

Johanna

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Ramblings on Cosmos and Chaos

I recently started re-reading Madeleine L'Engle's book Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art. I actually read the book back in college when I was studying to become an actress, but took it for granted as a silly 19-year-old.

Anyways, the book is amazing. I know I'm a little dramatic, but I pretty much cried through the entire first chapter entitled,"Cosmos from Chaos". It was like all these thoughts about art and writing that I have felt in my heart for some time but could never give voice to, were spelled out so beautifully and perfectly right there in black and white on those few simple pages. And it was a release of sorts for me. Here's a few quotes just to give you a taste:

• My feelings about art and my feelings about the Creator are inseparable.
• If it's bad art, it's bad religion, no matter how pious the subject. (CHRISTIAN SKITS AT CHURCH, AHEM!)
• All art is cosmos in chaos. At least all Christian art (by which I mean all true art..) is cosmos in chaos.
• The reproduction of chaos is neither art nor Christian.
• To paint a picture or to write a story (or a blog :)), or to compose a song is an incarnational activity. The artist is a servant who is willing to be a birth giver.
• God is always calling us to do the impossible.
• When the artist is truly the servant of the work, the work is better than the artist.

Now on to the point of this post. The other night I had a chaotic dream. I don't remember the specifics per se, but I remember the subject vividly. My dream was focused on the circle of life and death. It was about our purpose while here on this earth. I remember in my dream being obsessed with finding the answer. Desperately trying to understand how best we spend our days here. The answer was there, so close, but always just ahead of me, and I couldn't quite find it no matter how hard I tried. I awoke with such a longing and emptiness that I can't even explain. L'Engle addressed just that in her first chapter (go read it for yourself) and then she quoted a poem by E.E. Cummings, which then lead me to find this poem:

Johanna

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Government’s Role in Justice vs. God’s Role in Justice

Ruth 3

A commenter here raised some interesting questions as to the government's role in so-called "Social Justice." In my readings, I thought Ruth provided a lot of insight into the role of government in helping the helpless. As I researched the Biblical times of Ruth, what I found interesting is that the government did play a role in justice. However, it was a very different role than what our government plays now.

For example, during the times of Ruth and Boaz, the wealthy were required by law to let the poor and widows, etc. follow behind their workers and collect all the grains, barley, and other remains that did not get picked up by the workers. Whatever the poor collected that day, they were welcome to keep for themselves. Ruth was one of these poor. She was a widow and the daughter-in-law of a widow. She was a person, who by no fault of her own, came under difficult times.

So here's what I find interesting about Ruth, yes, the government required that the wealthy leave the left-overs to the poor, but the poor had to work to get it. There was no free hand-out. In fact, in Ruth it talks over and over about how she worked from sun-up to sun-down gathering food. No government housing, no food stamps, just a woman working hard for every grain of barley she found. Here is a woman in dire circumstances, the death of a husband, a father, brothers, and she doesn't expect a free hand-out just because she was entitled. She worked hard for every bit of grain she gathered. Nothing was free. Nothing that is, but grace.....

What is amazing about this story is how God truly looks out for his children. The food she was allowed to glean wasn't all the grace Ruth got. She was redeemed by Boaz. He saved her. He saved her mother-in-law. He gave Ruth a new life. A life full of blessings. And she ended up bearing the lineage of Christ himself. God loves his children so much that not only is He concerned with what we eat and wear (Matthew 6:33), no he wants to redeem us as well. And that is the ultimate in justice right there. Redemption from an eternity of suffering.

PS. If your interested, here is my post on Exodus 3 and justice.

Johanna

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No “Social Justice” for this Christian

I loathe that term. It has a bad connotation that I just cannot shake. You see when I hear the term "social justice" I automatically think government intervention. I think of welfare. I think of redistribution of wealth. "Social justice" to me says that because I work hard to make a living for my family, and because there are poor out there who don't, I should be forced by the government to give up my hard earned money so that others can have healthcare, a place to live, a cell phone, a government check, etc. I don't think that's fair even though it may come from a good place.

I saw this clip from Stephen Colbert about Jesus being a liberal democrat. I understand the satire. But more importantly, I understand the point. For some reason, Christians come across as not caring about the poor and needy. We come across as not caring about "social justice." When really, I think it's merely a matter of semantics. You see, I do care about the poor. I care about the needy, the oppressed. I work hard to help in any way that I can. It's not about "social justice." I really could care less about that. But it's about justice. Period. God's justice. And God's justice is quite different than social justice, let me tell you.

That being said, I do believe that we as Christians, must do better to serve those who need help. We must seek out ways to strive for justice and freedom for everyone. It's not the government's job. It's our job. And we, if I'm being honest with myself, probably don't do as much as we should.

Over the next two weeks, I'm going to write a lot about justice. I've been studying the Biblical term of justice quite a bit over the past few days. And I am learning a lot. If I had to choose between so-called "social justice" or God's justice, give me God's justice any day.

Cross-posted at Johanna Hopes

Johanna

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Who Is God?

I've been issued a challenge. In the past year, I did a study on Who is God, where I selected various attributes of God and spent time studying them in His Word. And yet, somehow in my heart, I haven't felt that was enough.  Well last week, my pastor talked about this very subject. He said the best way to truly understand God, is to understand God's son, Jesus... to become a student of the Gospels (books I honestly admit I push aside for Paul's letters far too often). But we can't stop there. Yes we must understand who Christ is, for Christ is God, but far too often, we, as imperfect sinners project ourselves on Jesus. In other words, we make Jesus who WE want him to be. He becomes an extension of us. Unfortunately, that leaves us with an incomplete picture if who Christ is, and therefore, who God is.

I know I am guilty of this. My Jesus is a cool dude. Lovingly accepting of everyone, even the most grotesque of sinners. His grace is sufficient for us all. There is no judgement in my Jesus.  He's an awesome father, who holds me close when I need his comfort, and we are all his children. But you see, that's incomplete. Yes, it's true in part, but it's just one piece of the puzzle. There's so much more. So this new year, I'm going to continue my study of Who Is God, by taking a good long look at his son, in his context, not in mine. I don't want an incomplete picture of my God. I want the full thing. Or as much of the full thing as this human sinner can get.

PS. Curt Cloninger- God Views, God as a party host.

Cross-posted at Johanna Hopes.

Johanna

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